Chapter Thirty-Seven: Tangerine Dream

One of the haunting side effects of my coworker's hate-filled agenda was knowing that there was meticulous planning into it. Obviously they conspired to achieve a goal to publicly humiliate me in front of coworkers, and to get a big laugh out of it. I was also bothered by the fact they were supposed to be promoting music, not spending time doing the physical act of placing the figure onto my locker, and then waiting for their victim, who happened to be me in this case to respond. Seriously, didn't they have better things to do?

Since three people were involved, it also was an act of bullying, but the real issue was they were the managers and people I was supposed to be able to rely on in case of things like this happening. So once again I was dealing with another traumatic event. After I got home, I called Mark and he told me to come up to see him in Seattle and he called the managers at Tower Records in Portland and told them he will sue them if they do not knock off the harrassment of me.

I have been raped twice, once at knife point and I have been publicly outed by hateful and homophobic people, and it would take a miracle to help me deal with it, and I got it when I got to see Tangerine Dream in concert. Once again, music would be needed to heal me from the pain of seeing that cardboard cutout of Baron Vladimir Harkonnen. Seeing that cutout felt like a huge punch in the gut, but to turn to hear all the laughing from those I thought were friends, was unbearable. My salvation was coming.

Discovering Tangerine Dream for me was another one of those great moments in life when I least expected to find something of this important to me. While doing my job as the Electronica buyer I bought an album called Hyperborea by Tangerine Dream and after the first listen I was hooked and did research on them and discovered a big discography of older material and started updating my knowledge and fell in love with the band.

After a few years of getting to be a huge fan, I got information that they would be touring the United States and would be playing in Portland, Oregon and after staying up all night, Mark and I got tickets and we got tickets for our friends as well. But I could have never predicted what would happen that night, but in that 2 hour span of a concert, I would discover my life's purpose.

When the show began, the songs were building to a the third song which was a new song never recorded on an album called Akash Deep but at the time, I did not know what it was. But during the playing of this song, the light show and lasers created a profound effect on me that I was not prepared for, but basically what came out of that moment was the exact purpose of my life and what would become my life goal. After the traumatic events in my life, I decided I could teach people how to become less materialistic and focus on helping others reach their life goals. I also learned while listening to this concert, that life is very short and we have to make each day count towards the greater goal of achieving a life of deep meaning, instead of complaining about not having enough money, or worrying about standing in a grocery store line too long.

Of course I get frustrated with life sometimes, but I always try to remember, two essential things. One, treat people the way I want to be treated. Two, remember that all living beings have the right to live a happy life. After that concert, I became less focused on myself and more motivated to help others.