Chapter Forty-Four: I Walk This Earth Alone

There are those who say to move on, and find someone else. I simply don't want to. No one will ever love me like Mark did, and I don't want to lose another person the way I lost him, if I ever do find someone else. So I have decided to live the rest of my life alone.

Everyday I wake up, it's like torture, because it's another day without him. Daily I find movies, books, and music I know he would have loved, but I can't share them with him. Time has moved on. Each day I get up, I have to live that day, alone. And will forever.

I got lucky. I found Mark and true love with a man in a hostile world for LGBT people. I hope each of you reading this, learns to value all you have in your life, because you never know when it will be gone. Go to your wife, you husband, your lover, your mother, your father, your brothers and sisters, your friends. Let them know, how you feel about them. Never stop loving each other. Love happens only in life. Enjoy your life and your loves. Don't end up wishing you had said "I Love You" that one last time.

Lauren Christy

I Walk This Earth Alone

You're in the doors that keep revolving The sirens that keep screaming You're in the flashing of the headlights The things that i'm believing You're in the water that I'm drinking The sound of 911 The walls that protect me From the damage that you've done In this world you are with me But I walk this earth alone And all I've ever known Is you are right beside me If I love you for a day Then blow my life away Could I leave you behind me You're in the crashing of the windows The angels 'round the ceiling You're in the fire in my belly The fucked-up way I'm feeling You're in the warning on the label The pills that disappear The whines as I'm talking The words you'll never hear In this world you are with me But I walk this earth alone And all I've ever known Is you are right beside me If I love you for a day Then blow my life away Could I leave you behind me